weighty secrets | Secrets are things we give to others to keep for us.

The reality of my life is so sad and the pain of my past is at the doorsteps.

I've been very unhappy for many years. I have settled for most of those years. Many spent either under the influence of drugs or alcohol or both just to hold onto myself, or what I thought I was.

Now after 6 years of having my weight loss surgery, I feel that I really don't like or love my husband of 35 years. I feel to get in the car and just run away like a child.

I know I won't do that, but the fantasy is really giving me a thrill. I guess I just miss the thrill of living a wild life. The reality of my life is so sad and the pain of my past is at the doorsteps. I must address this hard fact.....To leave or to stay? If I stay, many changes must be made both mine and his.

wow, I am so glad you lost all that weight, you looked HORRIBLE then

I have to admit that losing all my weight has it's charm. I dream about it all the time.

What scares me most is learning how to deal with the food police and people starting at my body all the time.

I dread the comment that happens in my dreams over and over. " wow, I am so glad you lost all that weight, you looked HORRIBLE then".