weighty secrets | Secrets are things we give to others to keep for us.

Weighty Secret: Physically, the way I have felt both physically and psychologically since WLS has made me feel like I didn't really have any problems before.

Physically, the way I have felt both physically and psychologically since WLS has made me feel like I didn't really have any problems before. Here's the list:

Pain. Invreased pain from fibro and arthritis, & scar tissue and limited now as to choices for coping with it. Horrible pain from gallbladder - kept me pretty much on the couch three years. Feel like I'm falling apart. Sex is painful

Vitamin deficiencies & hard time keeping my levels up

Anemia. Ditto

Dehydration Ditto.

Vomit at least 4-5 days out of the week

Cannot digest many foods. Cannot eat enough to keep nutrient or energy levels up
Hard to go out with friends to eat because I get sick on most commercial food & don't want to get sick in public

Travel limited because it hurts to sit long enough to get anywhere of any distance

Tired, always tired

Bowel problems. Bowel movements painful. Have diarhea some days after gall bladder out because bile dumps directly into intestines

Eye sight has become really bad & have accular migraine

Sleep disorder - had it before, but really bad now. Never sleep the night through or well.

Can't take many meds that would help me, can't absorb many meds or supplements.

Suddenly losing weight again after being stable several years, and don't know why.

Psychologically I am depressed alot. I do not like my body - would rather be fat. Everything sags and I no longer have good nuscle tone in spite of exercise. WLS aged me terribly. Skin tone is pale, blotchy, dry. Hair has no lustre. If it weren't for cosmetics, I wouldn't look fit to leave the house.  Have to wear a bra that has shape of its own so I can have some.
Feel so damned rotten now, that I can't see myself wanting to live to be very old.

Now the really sick thing: I am a success case. gastro doc says I have one of the better sets of organs he's seen for a WLS patient. Compared to everyone else, I'm pretty healthy.

You are welcome to use my name or have anyone contact me.

Crushed.

Someone just came to me and said something about my personal hygiene. I feel like I could crawl into a hole. Apparently it's gossiped about frequently by people who claim to be my friend. I just want to burst into tears but I can't right now. I want to call a REAL friend and talk about it, but I'm too embarrassed to even tell anyone what happened. I don't even want to talk to online friends about it. I'm mortified. I feel like I can't breathe. I just want to go home, crawl in bed, and never come back to work again.

What if Outkast was Right

You've heard it, right?

I know you'd like to think yo' s**t don't stank
But lean a little bit closer,
See that roses really smell like poo-poo
Roses really smell like poo-poo

What if they were right?  I wonder if it would make things any better for me?  It sure would make Valentine's Day look a lot different at the florist.

See, once I had gastric bypass surgery, the air and not-air that came from my body could bring a pachyderm to its knees.  No matter what I ate, if I cut the proverbial cheese or did my business, flies would die, wallpaper would peel, and family members would run for the hills.  I never saw that coming.  Nor had anyone told me that this would be a by-product of this surgery.

At the office, when I have to tend to task numero dos, I will emerge from the bathroom and see people 3 blocks away spraying Febreze, lighting candles as though there was a vigil, and pointing the hazmat crew towards my way.  The same goes for passing gas, cutting the cheese, breaking wind, or whatever you call it.  What's worse is that the smell can/will linger wherever it originated.  It even stays on my person and in my clothing.

It's so bad that I will attempt to hold the gas (as much as I can) in and then what ends up happening, besides the obvious pain down south, is I wake up and my bedroom smells like a landfill.  My poor, poor family...

I admit, I write this to make a very tense situation a little lighter.  However, it's gotten terribly embarrassing at work, in public, and at home, I am just sick and tired of it.  So much so that today, I broke down and started googling to try and figure out if there was something I could do about it.

It looks like the answer is going to be either Devrom or Nullo.  Other than that, I guess I could buy these?