I hate women who had surgery and are a size 2. I want to be a 2 but know I won't ever be because my body just isn't made that way.
More than that I hate that some of the size 2 people look down on me BECAUSE I am not a size 2.
I am 10lbs away from my goal weight. For the past week I've been eating doritos, oreos, cinnamon buns... After eating a macaroni and cheese sandwich I forced myself to sit down and think about what I'm doing and why.
I'm afraid that I'm going to reach my goal, and my husband still won't notice me or have anything nice to say. At least while I have something to lose I can blame it on the fat.
That cross-addiction thing? Yeah, I might have one...but am so afraid to tell anyone...
I found out yesterday that as of Monday I am probably without a job. So I drank an entire bottle of wine. Then today I ate KFC and Mac & cheese... I don't really care or feel guilty about it though so whatever.
Every time I gain my "Time of the month" bloat I freak out. You'd think I'd be used to it, but when that scale moves even a pound upwards I die a little inside.
It gives me a sick pleasure (that my good side knows is wrong) to watch you fail at weight loss.
I'm afraid I still won't know where my life is headed and my theory that my life is the way it is BECAUSE of my size (read: confidence and self esteem) will be blown to bits after WLS.
I lied when I went in for my psychiatric evaluation as part of the pre-op process. When asked if I ever had an eating disorder, I said no. I had been bulimic for several years. It's not an issue post-op even 4 years out, but I still feel "fat" and see "fat" when I look in the mirror. It's only when I see myself in a picture, am I shocked that the person I see is me. I don't think I'll ever not feel fat, even after losing 140lbs and now a small size.
I think obesityhelp.com is full of snotty-ass bitches who need to get a fucking life.
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