I lied when I went in for my psychiatric evaluation as part of the pre-op process. When asked if I ever had an eating disorder, I said no. I had been bulimic for several years. It's not an issue post-op even 4 years out, but I still feel "fat" and see "fat" when I look in the mirror. It's only when I see myself in a picture, am I shocked that the person I see is me. I don't think I'll ever not feel fat, even after losing 140lbs and now a small size.
I think obesityhelp.com is full of snotty-ass bitches who need to get a fucking life.
My procedure was rny gastric bypass on May 28, 2009. My beginning weight was 287 lbs. Immediately after surgery I developed Sepsis. The staple gun used during surgery failed & I had two leaks in my stomach. On the morning of May 29th, I went back into surgery to repair the leaks. I ran a high fever, & was placed in ICU. I developed pneumonia, my lungs collapsed, renal failure, swelled up to 360 lbs & I was in a coma for 10 weeks & was placed on a ventilator, & a feeding tube was placed in my stomach. I was given a 30% chance to live. I spent a total of 91 days in the hospital. I lost my muscles during the hospital stay. I am still learning how to walk again with physical therapy. The week before I came home from the hospital, they removed the feeding tube & began to give me soft foods. Ever since they took out the feeding tube, I throw-up everything. Over the last few weeks I can't even keep water down. Since coming home 8/21/09, I have been placed back into the hospital six times. Recently placed back on feeding tube. Blood work shows I am not absorbing nutrients. NONE! I have lost 112 lbs in 7 mths. I was told by my doctor last week that I am dying.
If you have the WLS Surgery- you'll never have to be on a diet again. BULLSHIT. You're on a diet for the rest of your life IF you want to stay at a semi- normal weight...
I'm sad so I'm eating cookies. Dipped in sugary coffee. It only hurts me, not the person who yelled at me. I know better. But I don't know any other place to put the hurt even after all the therapy paid for and pounds lost.
I am a bit frightened that I might die from wls and maybe that is why I just can't get my 10% off. I am eating fairly well, but the weight won't come off. I am on a liquid diet until I see my surgeon in a few days. I am hoping to schedule, but only if I lose the weight. sigh.
I am concerned that I will fail at wls, and I am sure it is not uncommon, but I won't tell anyone of course. I mean, I've failed at all other attempts to lose weight.
I'm really scared that I am 'settling' with my current boyfriend because he doesn't seem to mind my flabby arms, belly, and thighs. I'm really scared but I'm even more scared to be alone.
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